Kaido Ulejev: as employers, we cannot pretend that domestic abuse Is “not our business”

In Estonia, people still tend to believe that domestic abuse is something that happens “somewhere else”: in someone else’s home, someone else’s neighbourhood, someone else’s family. The reality is the opposite. It happens right beside us – to our colleagues, to our people. And as long as we continue to speak about it as a private matter, it will remain invisible.

Kaido Ulejev, Baltic Managing Director, Betsson Group

The past weeks have painfully confirmed this. In Nõo, a bystander was killed by a man who had been violent towards his partner. In Lasnamäe, a man kept a woman imprisoned for five days, her hands bound. The Emergency Response Centre receives on average 1,200 calls every month reporting domestic abuse. What we often forget is that nearly all of these people also have a workplace. They are someone’s employees, colleagues, team members.

The workplace is one of the few places where a person is seen every day. When home has become unsafe, the workplace may be the only environment where changes in behaviour, mood or health are noticed. Domestic abuse does not stay at the door when a person arrives at work – it comes with them. It affects concentration, the ability to work, communication, and can lead to anxiety, overworking and burnout. If an employer turns a blind eye, one person’s deeply personal experience can start to affect an entire team.

This is not interference in private life – it is about values and culture

As an employer and a leader, I want my people to feel well both at work and beyond it. Paying attention to domestic abuse in the workplace is not interference in someone’s private life; it is a matter of values and organisational culture. When an organisation dares to address the issue, articulate its values and offer support, the topic becomes visible in places where silence would otherwise prevail.

It sends a clear message to employees: abuse is not acceptable here in any form, and a person who is experiencing it is not alone. These messages matter – above all to those who have experienced abuse. They shape attitudes and shift the boundaries of what has previously been considered normal to keep silent about. Societal norms change through employers.

Our knowledge about domestic abuse is incomplete because most cases never become public. Nor do they reach employers unless someone notices or asks. Over the past year, as employers we have deliberately focused on addressing domestic abuse, having joined the President Kaljulaid Foundation’s Employers Against Domestic Abuse initiative.

As members of the initiative, we have access to digital e-learning materials and real-life stories. We can also arrange training sessions, workshops and discussions with a professional trainer on topics for which we lack in-house expertise.

This year has shown us how deeply this issue resonates with employees. Here, there is little difference across nationalities – if anything, the similarities are striking. Each training session gives people more confidence to reflect and talk about the issue. Raising awareness and normalising discussions about domestic abuse is one of the most effective ways an employer can contribute to building a society with less violence.

Speaking out alone can save lives

We have also noticed that in public events and the media, it is usually women who speak about domestic abuse. Men often remain silent – not out of malice, but out of uncertainty. But silence is not a solution. I hope that more leaders in Estonia, especially influential male leaders, will find the courage to speak out publicly on this issue. Because simply talking about it can save lives. This is an issue that must be addressed, regardless of whether you have personal experience with it or not.

When someone says today that they do not care what their employees do outside working hours, I believe they are already revealing their value framework – especially if they lead a large team.

We are not doing this only for today’s employees; we are shaping a more aware labour market for the future. Today’s labour market is value-driven, and employers who can offer a safe and caring environment retain their people better and attract those who want to work in organisations where values are more than words on a wall. Addressing domestic abuse is not merely corporate social responsibility – it is part of a new competitive advantage: organisations that support people as whole human beings perform better, build stronger cultures and achieve better results.

If we, as a society, keep waiting for “someone else” to intervene, then no one will. Reducing domestic abuse starts with awareness. And awareness can begin in workplaces, where people spend a large part of their day. From here, every employer can ask: Is my organisation a place where people feel safe to speak up if something is wrong? And does speaking up trigger shame – or support?

Committing to the prevention of domestic abuse is a marathon, not a sprint. But every employer who takes this journey moves society forward, step by step. And while no single employer can solve the entire problem, they may be the first place where someone feels safe for the first time. That is the true impact of an employer.