Domestic abuse experts: violence at home follows you to work

Anna arrives at work, a faint smile on her face. No one notices her red eyes, trembling hands, or the bruises glimpsed beneath her sleeves. No one asks. No one sees.

In this silence, thousands of women – and men – in Estonia go to work each day. They are living with domestic abuse.

The police register nearly 10,000 cases of domestic abuse each year, more than 2,000 people seek help from women’s shelters, and according to Statistics Estonia, almost half of all women and a third of men in the country have experienced violence in an intimate relationship. Women suffer all forms of abuse significantly more often than men, including the most dangerous kind – intimate terror. But why should employers care?

“Violence does not end when the front door closes. It follows you into every meeting, every email, and has a devastating impact on the workplace,” emphasises Triin Raudsepp, who has worked for years in the field of violence prevention and is co-founder of the training company Safen. Numerous studies show that domestic abuse undermines a person’s self-esteem and ability to concentrate, directly affecting work performance. But it is not only the survivor or the perpetrator who is affected – it touches every one of us. Employers are no exception.

“If a person feels controlled and worthless at home, they cannot be open and creative at work. Employers who fail to recognise this risk losing more than just an employee’s wellbeing – they lose human connection and trust,” adds Raudsepp.

The workplace can be the only safe place

It is said that violence thrives on silence, which is why bystanders – including employers and colleagues – play such a crucial role. According to Raudsepp, employers are in a key position to help someone break free from the cycle of abuse and to shatter the spiral of silence and fear.

Being willing to respond can be the only lifeline for a person trying to leave an abusive relationship, notes Airi Mitendorf, Safen’s domestic abuse expert and trainer. She stresses that employers are not expected to handle cases themselves, but they can create a supportive environment, raise awareness, and equip their staff with the skills to recognise and respond to domestic abuse.

“The most important thing in tackling abuse is to break the silence and talk about it. Everyone – individuals, organisations, and employers – can notice and offer help. As people spend a large part of their lives at work, employers can play an important role as spotters, preventers, and supporters. It’s important to understand that the employer does not have to solve cases involving their staff – there are specialist services in Estonia for that,” explains Mitendorf.

Both Raudsepp and Mitendorf agree that the most important thing employers can do is to create an environment where people know they can speak up – where they feel heard and supported.

“This could mean appointing a trusted contact person, providing training, offering flexible working arrangements, or working with support organisations – every step makes a difference,” says Mitendorf.

Although domestic abuse may seem like a purely private issue, it has a direct impact on workplace wellbeing, employee motivation, and organisational reputation.

“For employers, it is not just a matter of social responsibility, it is smart leadership. If we do not address abuse, we allow it to continue – and the victims are not only the survivors but the entire organisation,” Mitendorf remarks.

“An employer who values every employee can do a great deal. Often, the first step is as simple as asking: ‘How are you really feeling today?’” she adds.

Where to begin as a domestic abuse-aware organisation?

Both trainers believe prevention starts with leadership awareness. Workplaces that speak openly and without judgement about domestic abuse create a safe space for people. It is also essential to take a firm stance against abuse – that it is wrong, and the perpetrator is responsible. This is an ethical position.

“The first step is to raise the subject within the organisation to show that we do not turn a blind eye. The organisation should not expect the problem to go away on its own and must take a clear stance against abuse,” says Raudsepp.

Raising awareness about what domestic abuse is can involve both leadership and the wider team, helping everyone understand how each colleague can spot warning signs and offer support.

A sustainable approach is to integrate domestic abuse prevention into the organisation’s values and policies so it becomes part of its DNA. “This could be guidance referring to key topics (such as mental health, diversity, occupational safety) or leadership guidelines. It could also mean appointing topic ambassadors, creating a whistleblowing line or ethics committee, or other practical measures that grow alongside the organisation,” explains Raudsepp.

“If an employee knows their employer is consciously and competently supportive, it may help them leave and recover from abuse more quickly. Employers can offer flexible working conditions, role changes, or relocation if the survivor and perpetrator work together. They could also invite the employee to spend more time in the office to escape problems at home,” adds Mitendorf.

To help create domestic abuse-aware organisations, the President Kaljulaid Foundation launched the Employers Against Domestic Abuse initiative for employers, which has already attracted a number of respected Estonian companies.

“We have trained executives, middle managers, and frontline workers on domestic abuse. Our experience shows that as awareness grows, employees start sharing their own stories. These personal accounts prove that awareness creates a safe space where people feel supported,” say the trainers in unison. They add that organisations often discover the problem is closer than they thought – and that they can do much more to help than they had assumed.

How does domestic abuse affect working life?

Research shows that in addition to its direct personal impact, domestic abuse has a significant effect on working life – meaning it can also affect colleagues and employers.

Impact on the employee:

• Increased anxiety, low mood, withdrawal, sleep disturbances, exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, etc.
• Reduced motivation, creativity, performance, productivity, and commitment to work.
• Increased absenteeism or lateness.
• Reduced income.

Impact on the employer:

• Lower workplace wellbeing, productivity, work quality, and results.
• Higher staff turnover.
• Negative impact on team dynamics, workplace relationships, and organisational culture.
• Damage to the employer’s reputation when cases become public.